Month: March 2016

Look at my baby boy. So tiny, so new. His skin is so soft. His dark eyelashes are so long, just laying there against his cheeks. Joseph was so excited, so in love with him. When he held his little hand, those tiny fingers curved around and grasped onto his finger. I could see the tears in his eyes. My heart was so full with the love I felt for them both. I felt so much love but also some relief. I didn’t realize that I was almost holding my breath until that moment. The last few months have been so hard on both of us. I was so scared Joseph wouldn’t love this baby that is not his own. But Joseph has been so good to me, so kind and caring. I never should’ve doubted God but I did. here I am a virgin carrying the son of God in my womb – and I doubted He would be able to turn my husbands heart to love this precious baby. The angel appeared to me to tell me Gods plan for His son to come. It seemed too much, too crazy. Yet here was the messenger of God appearing to me  saying it was to be so. All of my doubts, all of my fears, my disbelief, it was overwhelming.  The sad, pitying looks of others, of even Joseph nearly broke me. I felt rejected, scorned, and condemned- but then the angel appeared to Joseph too.  And we were married. It was still hard. People said such cruel things to us. Then the baby – we could see him growing, feel his kicks see him moving. I just don’t think we could truly comprehend that the son of god was a tiny baby growing and developing inside of me. I am no one special. We are from no where special. And to think that our holy God, this part of the creator of everything became a small baby, to be born this way. He grew inside of me Joseph keeps apologizing for the hay and the animals and the smell. But honestly it doesn’t matter anymore. Look at my baby. He is so beautiful. The angel said he is to be the the messiah, the redeemer, the savior. I don’t know how that will be or why he needed to send his son into the world this way. But I am looking at this perfect little baby in my arms and know that I am looking  at the face of god, a miracle who already has my heart.